I struggle with pride

I struggle with pride, always have.  Seems no amount of praying or memorizing scripture on this subject has completed redeemed me of this horrible sin.  Oh, yes, by the grace of God, I would admit that I am a tab bit more humble than in years past; but I certainly am nowhere close to where I want to be.  And it doesn't even matter where I want to be, because it's not about me.  I am no where close to where God wants me to be.    

Pride goes before destruction, 

a haughty spirit before a fall.

Better to be lowly in spirit along with the oppressed 

than to share plunder with the proud.

Proverbs 16:18-19

Not exactly sure when or where this insidious enemy first appeared. Pride is treacherous. Has it stemmed from truth as Mac Davis' song would lead me to believe? 

"Oh Lord it's hard to be humble

when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror

'cos I get better looking each day

to know me is to love me

I must be a hell of a man.

O Lord it's hard to be humble

but I'm doing the best that I can."

Do I really believe that I'm all that or is the truth the exact opposite ~ that my battered, bruised and blooded ego is so low that I only mask the pain with pride?

Last Tuesday I had lunch with my South African missionary supervisor, discussing my issues with my adjustment to a new culture and life as a missionary. She kept asking me, "What did you expect?"  My profound answer was to each query, "I dunno!"  


I wish someone could tell me what I was thinking missionary life would be like.  I know every time I bought something for Africa the check-out cashier at Wal-Mart would get this dreamy look in their eyes and say something about how awesome I was and how they wish they could go save the world with me.


Is the source of my current angst is the that fact that I don't feel like I'm saving the world?  Heck, I'm living and serving at the Lutheran Seminary where everyone knows and loves our Lord, Jesus Christ and is preparing for a full time career of profession church work.  So, obviously my role here isn't to share the gospel message.  

cutest little washing machine

My role today was to prepare two guest houses by washing and changing the linen of 17 beds, moving the luggage of the deaconesses from one building to another along with all their food from the cupboards and refrigerator, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing; driving students where they needed to get and helping an Ethiopian student with his English.  And may I just add that each deaconess came with more luggage for their two week class than I came for my two years here.  Seriously!


Thus, early in the morning as the first stripping of the beds began I told my ministry partner Ginger, who did 10x as much work as I and without one peep of complaint, that I wanted to go get my camera and blog about the work that we do.  I realize most of my blogs have been either sillyness or furry animals. 

Ginger Taff-Lagergren

Lapa, which needs to be cleaned before tea each day.

Feeling more like a scullery maid than a missionary, I set to my days work.  Quickly 7am rolled around to 10am.  Chapel, glorious chapel.  The singing of these African men is awesomeness beyond description, now that I know all the students I like to see whose turn it is to lead the liturgy and the sermons by the Professors who rotate this task are always wonderful.  I especially like Mondays because American missionary and Greek professor, Reverend Glenn Fluegge takes his turn as proclaimer.   The added bonus on this particular Monday was  I was able to sit for 30 minutes.  Thank you, Jesus.




I love the way God shows up EXACTLY the minute you need Him.  The text for the sermon was:

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁹ Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. ¹⁰ And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more, ¹¹ and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, ¹² so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

The Lord used Pastor Fluegge and his message to remind me of several important truths.  Glenn began his sermon by saying that of all scripture, 'this passage is just not very exciting, that this one seems to be the most ordinary, mundane, boring and everyday common.'  But this is the inspired Word of our loving Lord, thus important and necessary.  Point #1 not everything is exciting (changing 17 beds is not exciting) but it is important and necessary.

Pastor Fluegge quoted Bonhoeffer words, "Christ died for the world, and it is only in the midst of the world that Christ is Christ. Furthermore, 'there is no place in which the Christian can withdraw from the world... Belonging wholly to Christ," Christians stand 'at the same time wholly in the world."   Point #2 as Christians we live in this tension "You are not of this world... you are in this world."  Worldly activities still must be completed... changing 17 beds.

"If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world."

John 15:19

No bed has a top sheet, just a fitted sheet and a duvet.
Each duvet had to be washed. 

Repetition is good.  Several time throughout the sermon the text was repeated: 

Love your brothers, 

mind your own business, 

strive to live a quiet life and 

work with your hands.  

The only thing I'm good at... speaking English.

Thank you Glenn for allowing the Holy Spirit to use you to remind me that while this text may be ordinary, mundane and perhaps boring for those of us living ordinary, mundane and boring lives it is a wonderful reminder that we have  "an extraordinary, exciting, heavenly home in heaven... but as we wait, may He give us the strength to get back to work. To glorify God and serve our neighbor."

I want to save the world.  I want to tell everyone about Jesus.  Clearly, I'd not be given that privilege until I submit my pride, humble myself before the Lord and be faithful in the small things of His kingdom.  

I want to be proud of the daily tasks I am asked to do, just not too proud.

2 of the deaconnesses, with a fraction of their luggage.