When we arrived the hostess said we could wait in a small but comfortable living room. The women whom we work with, she is the principal at the creche, told us what was about to happen. For a man to marry a woman he must pay an Lobolo or Lobola in Zulu is (sometimes translated as bride price) is a traditional Southern African custom whereby the man pays the family of his fiancée for her hand in marriage. The custom is aimed at bringing the two families together, fostering mutual respect, and indicating that the man is capable of supporting his wife financially and emotionally. From this day on, she is to do whatever the groom-to-be's family asks of her. The price is agreed upon before this day of Gift Giving. The Bride-to-be's family get's to decide what gifts they want to receive. The 'value' is based on several things, if she is a virgin, educated, etc. the price is higher. If she has been married or has children or uneducated, the cost is lower.
After about an hour in the living room, the extreme heat of the day beating on the tin roof made the room unbearable.
above: Ginger (L), Julia, Katelyn (R) Left: Shara and Ginger, both wearing the Zulu Beads.
I had to get out of that living room so I wandered over to where the women were cooking for the 100's of people who would be attending. Although they had no idea how many would actually be attending and since it is unacceptable to run out of food, a ton of food was being prepared - all outdoors. The women begin several days in advance.
This nice woman asked me in English if I wanted to help. YES I do, and so I was put to task to peel the hard boiled eggs for the potato salad. I stuck my hand into the water to fetch one egg and then realized that the water was the boiling water they were cooked in - Ouch. The next pot was for the peeled eggs, which were from the family chickens, of course.
She didn't want her picture taken, so she took some of me.
the potatoes and now adding the eggs.
sweeping up after cutting the spinach
Can you even image cooking for 100's of people over a wood fire?
Many, many women were helping.
As I mentioned it was so hot. I have no words to describe how hot it was. I have lived and worked in New Orleans, and many other 'hot' spots but I don't remember ever being this hot. So, I drank liter after liter of water, with the natural results. The above picture is the bathroom. This family lived in like a compound, many houses all on one big plot of land. I don't know how many people actually lived here. These are the bathrooms, on the left was the women, right side men
This is an outhouse built by the Bill Gates Foundation. The entire landscape is scarred with these things. Everyone got one (free) but no one uses them. Why you ask... because they thought it would be a good idea to build outhouses with a tray that is removed with its contents (trying not to be too graphic) and the contents used in a compost - ewwwwwwww. I don't want to dump my own, and neither do they. So no one uses them.
This is the women's side. Welcome to Africa.
We waited in the house, we waited under a tent.
Everyone waited.
I love the elderly here.
Team mates... waiting...
Julia (Mrs. Black) & Shara (Mrs. White)
beautiful babies and children were everywhere.
looking, looking, looking...
And then it happened. from the street the parade of people came singing and dancing up to the tent which was placed exactly square in front of the brides house. Only the women and children were present. The men folk were off doing whatever men do before a gift giving ceremony.
yippee skippy
All the gifts are carried to the tent, mostly on their heads. These are the gifts that the brides family requested.
Mr. Sheep, poor Mr. Sheep.
Mr. Goat, poor Mr. GoatThese animals were slaughtered after they were presented. No, they were not dinner for us. This little Anaheim, California girl had never seen anything so horrible. I wanted to take a picture, but I wasn't allowed.
The decorated tent for eating the meal.
The gift giving tent.
The tent begins to fill with the brides family. More than 100.
Umbrella's are used to shade from the sun and also the rain.
All of us were taking pictures.
Getting Mr. Sheep ready for the grand entrance.
The bride family tent is packed
Getting the hat on the sheep. He doesn't like this one little bit.
Mountains of gifts. The big squares are huge, thick, expensive blankets.
Here comes Mr. Sheep to be presented to the bride-to-be's father.
Pastor Thwala
The father of the bride is also presented clothes.
And traditional items: a spear and this thing.
The bride-to-be's father has recieved his gifts, now it's time for the mother. She sits on a mat on the ground in front of the tent of people.
This sheep is 'wrapped' as a gift in a blanket. The sheep is wearing a hat.
She is wrapped in one of those really, thick, heavy, large blankets, remember that it's burning, burning hot outside. I wanted to faint just looking at her. She also was presented with two dresses and two scarves.
Other household goods were presented, pots, bowls, food, toothpaste, lotion, broom
Large bags of rice and other food items in the bowl.
The man in the yellow was filming the entire event. This is a huge day for both families and they want it preserved on film.
After the mother of the bride-to-be, then the aunts each get the same gift: one thick, huge, heavy blanket; 2 dresses and 2 scarves.
Then the sister's of the bride-to-be get the same gifts: one blanket wrapped around them, a dress and scarves.
In the end 12 women received these gifts $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
We Americans were so enthralled with this event, but for everyone else they had been participating in them since birth.
Traditional Zulu dress
Traditional Zulu Dress. From engagement on, the women cover their heads and can cover their shoulders.
The girl without a blanket is the bride. Not sure who is the one covered... maid of honor?
I've been to a Zulu wedding and instead of walking down the aisle, the groomsmen, bridesmaids and bride all sing and dance down the aisle. Typically, the groom who has been waiting for hours outside the compound, dances in but this groom-to-be is shy and the bride-to-be asked that they not make him dance.
Groom and to his right is perhaps the best man??
Doesn't he look happy. The bride-to-be and the groom-to-be aren't seen together.
Now the go-go's (Grandmothers) get their gifts. Dresses, blanket and scarf.
Another Go-go of the bride-to-be
Traditional dress.
3 Go-go's.
Did I mention that it is blazing, burning hot and these proud women sit with those blankets covering them. Yikes!
Pastor Thwala, Shara & Ginger
After hours of gift giving, it was finally time for the meal. A typical African meal was served: pop (which is corn meal and the consistences of mashed potatoes) pinto beans, white rice, beef or maybe oxtails in curry, chicken, beets, spicy carrot salad, potato salad, spinach, green salad, fruit juice to drink and custard for dessert. There may have been more choices. A ton of food for the 200+ folks who came to wish the new couple well. The wedding date is not planned yet but could be a year or more from now.
